
You don't have to go out or go online and buy anything to have a little kink on the side. Just go to the kitchen and start with a wooden spatula (pictured below) and you're already partly there!
A wooden spatula makes a nice paddle. Try all kinds of spatulas--ones with holes, ones with slots, ones that are solid.

Just make sure you have a separate stash for those that have already done its deed for sanitizing later...
Other pervertibles in the kitchen:
- Cheese graters
- Pickle pinchers
- Wooden spoons
- Rice paddles